


while everything was struck

by labeledbones



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9241259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeledbones/pseuds/labeledbones
Summary: They’re watching the sky turn green through the barn doors, a thunderstorm coming in, the air thick and hot around them, charged and tense. Philip is curled against Lukas’ side, his fingers toying with the collar of Lukas’ t-shirt and then reaching up to tug on a piece of his hair, wild with the humidity.Or, just 1,100-ish random words of Philip and Lukas being soft and gentle and angsty and loving with each other in the barn during a thunderstorm.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "It Was Enough" by Blind Pilot which I recommend as a good soundtrack for reading this one.

They’re watching the sky turn green through the barn doors, a thunderstorm coming in, the air thick and hot around them, charged and tense. Philip is curled against Lukas’ side, his fingers toying with the collar of Lukas’ t-shirt and then reaching up to tug on a piece of his hair, wild with the humidity. 

He hadn’t been prepared for Lukas in the summertime. How his skin would grow three shades darker and be constantly warm from the sun. How the bridge of his nose would turn bright red and then freckles, showing up out of nowhere, spilling across his cheeks. How he would smell sharp with sweat and grass and gasoline all the time. How much Philip would want him, and not the same want he’d felt before, not the wanting of something he couldn’t have, or the frenzied wanting of something that might be taken from him. This is want on a pure and basic level. This is wanting something warm and alive that belongs to you. And it is somehow more intense than anything else he’d ever felt for Lukas. He hums with it all day long. 

It’s there now, too, that wanting, but he lets it lie deep in his bones, feeling the electricity of it in his limbs as he lies next to Lukas in the hay. The rain has started in earnest finally, loud against the barn roof. Loud enough that he almost doesn’t hear Lukas when he says, “I wish I’d known you when we were kids.” 

Philip tilts his head to look up at Lukas, snorts out a laugh. “No kidding.” 

Lukas smiles at him, affectionate but sad. “Maybe I would’ve hated myself less,” he says. 

Philip shrugs even though his throat tightens at this, says simply, “Maybe.” 

“Maybe we both would’ve hated ourselves less.” 

Philip leans forward to kiss him because he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to even think about what life might have been like if they’d always been in each other’s lives, helping each other with the hard stuff. Lukas kisses him back but not with the usual heat and urgency, it’s slow and sweet and Philip feels like they’re telling each other a story about how it might have been without saying a word. 

Lightning flashes outside and he keeps kissing Lukas until the accompanying thunder finally rolls in, still far enough away that it takes a while for the sound to reach them. 

“Can I ask you something?” Philip says, pulling back.  Lukas nods but kisses him again, a slow but determined hand slipping just under the waistband of Philip’s jeans.

“Why me?” 

At this, Lukas hands stop wandering and he pulls away from Philip enough to look at his face. “What?” 

Philip looks down, away from Lukas’ eyes. 

The storm outside is reaching its peak, bright flashes of lightning, loud claps of thunder. Philip waits for a quiet enough pause and says, “I mean, why come out for me? You could’ve just kept pretending to be straight, but you chose to start talking to me and hanging out with me and- I don’t know. Why me?” 

Philip had been naive in thinking that coming out might be easy for Lukas, or at least not nearly as terrible as Lukas thought it would be. But it wasn’t easy, and it was terrible. The friends who didn’t immediately drop him didn’t know how to act around him anymore, grew distant and eventually dropped him too. Sponsors he’d had were suddenly ‘going in a different direction.’ He’d opened his locker one day to find things written on the inside of the door, things he wouldn’t even let Philip see, but he’d gone home early that day and when Philip showed up at his house after school, Lukas cried and cried. He still felt like he was a target, he’d told Philip then. Philip held him because he didn’t know what else to do for him. He still doesn’t know how to make this easier for him. 

There is Rose, though. Surprisingly she’s the one who stuck around. They've become a weird sort of trio even though she’s clearly uncomfortable whenever Lukas and Philip touch. But she’s been kind, supportive. She stands up for Lukas at school and Philip loves her for it. He knows she just wants to see Lukas happy again. 

And then there’s Lukas’ dad. Almost losing his son had made him loving and overprotective almost to a fault. If Lukas actually told him about the things kids at school said and did, Philip is sure Helen would have a few more murder cases on her hands. Bo lets Philip come over whenever he wants though. Lets him stay the night without question. He still leaves the room when Philip gets within a foot of Lukas, and he still calls Philip ‘Lukas’ friend’, but it’s still so much better than all of Lukas’ fears. 

Philip’s phone buzzes on a nearby hay bale. He cranes his next to see a message from Helen ‘come inside please. not safe.’ but he ignores it and turns back to Lukas. 

Lukas’ eyes move over Philip’s face trying to find an answer. He reaches a hand out to brush a stray piece of hair off of Philip’s forehead, his fingers trailing down the side of his face and down his jaw until it drops back between them. “I have no idea,” he says finally. “Honestly. I don’t know why I did it. I just saw you and-” 

He ducks his head, blushing. Philip kisses both of his cheeks, laughing, and Lukas says, “Okay, yeah. I thought you were fuckin’ cute with your stupid hair and that jacket. Couldn’t control myself, I guess.” 

Philip knows there’s more to it than that, but he also knows some things are too big for Lukas to talk about. He sees Lukas’ brow furrow as he tries hard to put together better words for it. Philip puts a hand on Lukas’ chest and nods to say he gets it, even if he doesn’t really, because he gets Lukas and that’s enough. 

They kiss hurriedly then while the rain gets even louder and the lightning comes at an unrelenting pace. But Philip feels safe there, in that moment, with Lukas’ warm summer skin all around him. 

When they’re breathing heavily against each other’s mouths, eyes locked, Lukas says quietly and overly sincere, “Do you believe in destiny?” 

The question sends another wave of laughter through Philip which makes Lukas laugh too and they fall into each other, thinking, yes, probably they do believe in destiny, something bigger, because the rain keeps coming and they are here, laughing, warm, alive, together.


End file.
